Holding Out for a Hero
by Kristy Marie
Summary: BX SongFic: Buffy ponders the need of a hero in her life. Xander counters. Post Chosen.
1. Holding Out for a Hero Buffy

Title: Holding Out for a Hero  
Author: Kristy Marie  
Rating: PG  
Pairing: BX  
Genre: one shot Song Fic  
Disclaimer: Of course Joss has the BtVS stuff and Bonnie Tyler has the song. I just own my nice little iMac computer....  
Distribution: TTH, FF.net, let me know where else it travels to...  
Author's Notes: Xander didn't go to Africa, he actually traveled with Buffy and Dawn to Rome, he didn't want to leave his Summers girls... This is my first song fic so hopefully it will go okay. I had to download this song (legally from iTunes!!) for a relative and got to thinking about the lyrics and they wouldn't let me sleep.... Feedback is greatly desired as it boosted my day from mediocre to a 'oh happy day' feeling.

Holding Out for a Hero

Buffy lay awake on her bed with some of Dawn's mp3's playing lightly in the background. It had been months since the First. She was suppose to be living it up in Rome and doing some sisterly bonding with Dawn, but instead she was in her secluded room pondering her future love life, or lack there of. Her past had contained Angel, Riley and Spike. All three had loved her and left her. Of course there were a few extenuating circumstances surrounding the two vampires, but in the end they had left. Even her two father figures had left; her dad when he ran off with the secretary, and Giles when he returned to England... Then she heard a familiar song come on..

**  
Where have all the good men gone  
And where are all the gods?  
**

'Yeah, ' she snorted, 'all the good men are gone, they all left little old me, well, all except Xander..' Where had that thought come from?

**  
Where's the street-wise Hercules  
To fight the rising odds?  
**

'Hmm, what about Xander? He's been there for seven years now, and he never left...'

**  
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?  
Late at night toss and turn and dream of what I need  
**

'I never even thanked him properly for saving my life all those years ago... He came to my rescue and I just used him to make Angel jealous... How many other times did he save me?'

**  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
**

'He called me his hero once. I wonder if anyone ever told him that he is as much of a hero as the rest of us?'

**  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
**

'He's fought beside us for seven years.. He always survived even when he stumbled his way through the fight.' Something inside Buffy was stirring. 'Not to mention that eye-patch does give him a sexy look.'

**  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life  
**

'He's in the daylight and in the darkness, he picked me up so many times, why didn't I ever see my Xander-shaped friend?'

**  
Somewhere after midnight  
In my wildest fantasy  
Somewhere just beyond my reach  
There's someone reaching back for me  
**

'I was always looking for the danger factor, I needed someone I could share my Slayer part with. Why didn't I ever see Xander, he knew all my secrets, he knew me.'

**  
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat  
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet  
**

'Anya always said he was good. I mean he has to have something if he could please a thousand year old vengeance demon. Right?'

**  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life  
**

'Who has he been with? Anya of course, and she still loved him after he left her. Hmm... Cordelia was his other girlfriend. There has to be something, Cordelia had even told me she loved him, I know, even though he hurt her deeply, she still cared for him. Willow loved him since the day they met. Even Dawn loves him in her own way. And lets not even think about the slew of demon women who come after him. Why did I never think about why all these women love him, why do I love him?'

**  
Up where the mountains meet the heavens above  
Out where the lightning splits the sea  
I would swear that there's someone somewhere  
Watching me  
**

'Even when he was with his other girls, he's always watched out for me. I've hurt him, turned him down, only used him when I needed him, but he's always watched over me, been there for me, protected me. And I don't need protecting. Do I?'

**  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life  
**

'I'm a hero, I don't need one, do I? "When I'm all alone who do I turn to?" Wasn't that what he said to me? He turns to me, his hero. But who can I turn to? Would he let me turn to him?'

**  
Through the wind and the chill and the rain  
And the storm and the flood  
I can feel his approach  
Like the fire in my blood  
**

"Maybe I never turned to him because I was afraid he would leave me too..." Her voice was barely a whisper, but she sighed as she had finally spoken one of her greatest fears.

**  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life  
**

'Could I risk it all, could I have it all with him? Or would I ruin it like everything else? A hero needs someone to turn to too. He's there, maybe, just maybe, I could make it work. I've got to try, if I don't, I will lose him with time. If I catch him and hold on tight, my White Knight can't escape on his fiery steed!'

Buffy jumped off her bed and began her plotting to ensnare an unsuspecting Xander into her life. 'Just hope he is ready for me...because I need a hero!'

The End


	2. I Will Be Here For You Xander

Title: Holding Out for a Hero  
Author: Kristy Marie  
Rating: PG  
Pairing: BX  
Genre: so it's a two shot/one shot Song Fic  
Disclaimer: Of course Joss has the BtVS stuff and Michael W. Smith has this song. I just own my nice little iMac computer, and a shiny new iPod Mini (it's so cute!)....  
Distribution: TTH, FF.net, let me know where else it travels to...  
Author's Notes: Xander didn't go to Africa, he actually traveled with Buffy and Dawn to Rome, he didn't want to leave his Summers girls... This is my first song fic so hopefully it will go okay. I had to download this song (legally from iTunes!!) for a relative and got to thinking about the lyrics and they wouldn't let me sleep.... Feedback is greatly desired as it boosted my day from mediocre to a 'oh happy day' feeling.

I Will Be Here For You

Xander lay awake on his bed with the 'Ultimate Scooby Playlist' playing lightly in the background. Andrew had compiled the list from everyone's suggestions and it was probably the most mixed collection of music ever. It seemed there was a song for every mood a person could have. The only problem was, Xander was unsure what mood he was in. The last two weeks had been the strangest in his life. It made him wish.. no wait, no wishing... made him want the simplicity of facing an Apocalypse on the Hellmouth. The weirdness was due to Buffy. It was like she had turned into some lioness and he was the prey. Just the thought made him shudder. He had asked Dawn if she knew what was up, but the answer had some analogies to cookie dough that he just didn't quite grasp. 'No wonder Giles was always frowning whenever we tried to explain something,' he mused, 'there was a communicational gap, actually ravine'. He was still left wondering as to what the flirtations Buffy had been sending his way meant. Then he heard some Christian rock song come on... 'Must of been Amanda's song contribution...'

**  
When you feel the sunlight  
Fade into the cold night  
Don't know where to turn  
I don't know where to turn  
**

'When was the last time any of us looked at the sunlight? We're always in the cold night. It's hard to turn away from the night once your use to it. That is part of Buffy's problem. She could never turn away from the darkness of her world.' 

**  
And all the dreams you're dreaming  
Seem to lose their meaning  
Let me in your world  
Baby, let me in your world  
**

'She was always wanting a normal life, but she turned down any chances she was given at normal,' he paused, letting the thought bounce around... 'She turned me down for Angel all those years ago, I could have given her normal, given her her dreams.'

**  
All you need is someone you can hold  
Don't be sad, you're not alone  
**

'She always said she was alone, she was The Chosen One, it was destiny. But all of us were there along side her, Giles, Willow, Dawn and so many others, hell, even Cordelia was there. I was always there to help pick her up, even when she wasn't there for me.'

**  
I will be here for you  
Somewhere in the night  
Somewhere in the night  
**

'God, how many times was I there for her. When she drowned, when she was sick, when she couldn't face starting college, when Riley left her, when Willow went all scary, when Spike raped her, I was there for the First, I was even there for her when they pushed me away Senior year. Am I here for her now?'

**  
I'll shine a light for you  
Somewhere in the night  
I'll be standing by  
I will be here for you  
**

'I'll always be there watching and waiting suppose. What was it Anya had sang, 'when things get rough he just hides behind his Buffy', well, Ahn, you were right, she was always there, in her own special place in my heart. Just like all my girls, I'm there for all of them.

**  
In this world of strangers  
Of cold unfriendly faces   
Someone you can trust  
Oh there's someone you can trust  
**

'Can I open that place up and let it grow for her? Can I see if she will trust in me? It would be hard for any of us to find someone out there in the world, someone 'normal', who didn't know the truth. We could never open ourselves up for that kind of relationship. I know her secrets and she knows mine. We aren't strangers.'

**  
I will be your shelter  
I'll give you my shoulder  
Just reach out for my love  
Reach out for my love  
**

'I have always loved her, I've always tried to protect her, even if she did end up saving my butt most of the time. I'll always give her my shoulder, my love and my heart. Will she accept it, if I offer?'

**  
Call my name and my heart will hear  
I will be there, there's nothing to fear  
**

'All she would have to do is say yes. The three letter word she didn't say last time. I was and still am the heart, as long as she let's her own heart feel, then I can too.'

**  
I will be here for you  
Somewhere in the night  
Somewhere in the night  
I'll shine a light for you  
Somewhere in the night  
I'll be standing by  
**

'If she wants someone who can understand the night with her, I know I can, after all, I've lived in it for 7 years. But I'll also take her into the daylight, remind her about the people she fights for, the people she has died for. I will stand beside her and watch her, help her, protect her...' With a new lightness in his heart, Xander gets up and heads towards Buffy's room as the last words of the song filters out of the speakers...

**  
I will be here for you  
**

The End


	3. Everything I Do

Title: Holding Out for a Hero  
Author: Kristy Marie  
Rating: PG  
Pairing: BX  
Genre: so it's a two shot/one shot Song Fic  
Disclaimer: Of course Joss has the BtVS stuff and Bryan Adams has this song. I just own my nice little iMac computer, and a shiny new iPod Mini (it's so cute!)....  
Distribution: TTH, FF.net, let me know where else it travels to...  
Author's Notes: Xander didn't go to Africa, he actually traveled with Buffy and Dawn to Rome, he didn't want to leave his Summers girls... This is my first song fic so hopefully it will go okay. I decided to try to wrap it up with a little Xander/Buffy interaction with a song in the background.... Feedback is greatly desired as it boosted my day from mediocre to a 'oh happy day' feeling.

Everything I Do...I Do It For You

Dawn looked up from the dusty old demon book she had been looking through all day. She watched as Xander knocked lightly on her sister's door and then entered the slayer's room cautiously when he heard the okay. At this site, Dawn's hopes sky-rocketed. She knew that this was the make or break moment of any romantic possibilities between Xander and Buffy and she was going to give it all the help she could muster. She sat the book down and turned on a song she had been waiting for the opportune moment to play. She turned the volume up just enough to be heard in the other room and then grabbed her purse to head out for an unscheduled night of sight-seeing in Rome. Hopefully there would be a new couple when she returned...

**

Buffy looked up at Xander as he walked into the room. His remaining eye was mixed with so many various emotions, Buffy was unable to read any of them. Although he had always been a hard one to judge. The apprehension between seemed so thick that she could almost see it forming a wall between them. She knew that this was the culmination of her weeks of planning, and could only hope that the outcome would be a positive one.

**

Xander swallowed nervously as he looked at Buffy, no, correction, his Buffy laying on the bed. She, and all of the girls, had always been his. His to protect, his to comfort, his to always be there for. He swallowed one more time hoping to force the lump in is throat down so he could actually say more than his first words of 'can I have you' that he had spoken to her all those years ago. One more swallow made him capable of speech. "Hey Buff, umm," he swallowed once more, where was his capabilities of Willow babble when he needed it, "think we could talk, talking would be good right now, you know, me, you and the mouths moving, forming words and such..." Buffy smiled up at him and then they both heard a familar song filter in from the other room..

**  
Look into my eyes  
You will see, what you mean to me  
**

Buffy smiled at him. "Hey Xand. Your babbling. You know, you've always meant the world to me," she swallowed trying to form her next words carefully, "all the guys in my life always left. Merrick, my dad, Angel, Riley, Giles" she pauses and looks down towards the floor and barely whispers, "Spike..." She then looks back up and meets his steady gaze, "But you never did, I was always afraid you would leave me, that you would decide to have a normal life or you would get killed by something. I always wanted to keep you away from the dangers that being a part of my life entailed because I didn't want to lose you because of it.." She looked back down at the floor again.

**  
Search your heart, search your soul  
And you find me there, you'll search no more  
**

Xander filed what she had just told him away so he could process it later, right now he needed to switch to comfort Buffy mode. He walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder causing her to look up. "I'll always be here, whenever you need me. You don't have to look anywhere for more. I've always been behind you and I always plan to be. If I had wanted out of the slaying gig, I would have left years ago when you were all afraid of me getting hurt. If you couldn't get rid of me then, you certainly can't get rid me now."

**  
Don't tell me it's not worth trying for,  
You can't tell me it's not worth dying for,  
You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you  
**

Buffy tugged on his arm so he would sit down next to her. "I never understood why you helped, you didn't have any super powers, any need for redemption, a destiny, but you fought alongside all of us. You would have died for all of us. Why?"

Xander looked at her with slight shock on his face. After all these years, someone had finally asked him why. "At first, it was because of Jesse." At the puzzled look on Buffy's face, he went on to explain. "He was the third in our trio, Willow, me and Jesse, the founders of the 'We Hate Cordelia' club," he gave a slight laugh at the distant memory and saw realization dawn on Buffy's face. "He was the first vampire I actually staked. It was at the Bronze that first night, he was talking to me, trying to pretend he was still my best bud, telling me all the joys of being a vampire, when something hit him from behind and he fell into my stake. I..." Xander paused as the long ago feeling resurfaced. 

Buffy looked at her Xander and realized she had overlooked so much about him. "Oh, Xand, I never.."

Xander turned to her and cut her off, "Don't say it, I know that he has been in a better place, you're proof of that, I didn't really kill him, I just put his body to rest." He got silent again.

"You said that that was why you did it at first, what changed?" Buffy placed her hand on the small of his back, and began to move it in comforting circles.

"After watching all of the ups and downs that everyone around me went through, you had a destiny, Willow found magic, Angel had redemption, Oz was a wolf, Giles was a Watcher, Riley was military guy, Dawn was an ancient ball of energy, Spike, hell I don't know what he was, Anya," he voice caught on her name, "she was 1000 years old and trying to fit in, all of you were part of the supernatural. I decided I needed to be there for all of you, remind you what the human thing was. Keep you all grounded in the world, crack a joke here, deliver some doughnuts there. I just wanted to be there for all of you. I decided the moment I brought you back in the Master's cave that I would always be right there with you."

**  
Look into your heart, you will find  
There's nothing there to hide  
Take me as I am, take my life  
I would give it all, I would sacrifice  
**

Buffy looks over at her unsung hero, "You were never a normal one. You stayed with us even though you could have been killed, you stayed when we pushed you away, you stayed even after the long string of demon girls that you always seemed to attract, you stayed even after your own life fell apart. You could have left, found a normal girl, someone who didn't know about vampires and demons and death, but you never left me..."

Xander cut her off as he reached his hand up to brush a strand of her hair from her face, "I know all of us have thought about what our futures hold. We could never open ourselves to some unsuspecting stranger. I think deep down we don't want to bring anyone else into our world, we don't want others to be burdened with the pain. And we could never fully be with someone without telling them the truth." He keeps his hand resting gently on her face and wipes a tear that falls down her cheek. "I know what your past holds, I was there and saw it all. You know what my past holds. We don't have any secrets left to keep from each other."

**  
Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for  
I can't help it, there's nothing I want more  
You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you

There's no love, like your love  
And no other, could give more love  
There's nowhere, unless you're there  
All the time, all the way  
**

Buffy leaned slightly into the caress on her cheek. His hand was strong and calloused from his carpentry work. It felt good. "Xand, I've been fighting for so long. I've been looking for a reason to live ever since..." she paused, it still pained her to think about her time in heaven, "ever since I came back from heaven. I've never had a normal relationship, I always based my relationships off of someone who could side with me in a fight, someone who was as strong as I was physically. None of my relationships had an emotional connection with the Buffy side of me, I always let my slayer side choose a match. I think, no I know, that I always had you there to be my sounding board. To listen to me, to joke with. I just always thought I couldn't base a relationship on that. But, I think I want to try it now. I think I'm ready to fight the slayer side let it know I need someone to love who will love me back, who will love all of me, both the slayer and the girl."

Xander continued to caress her face with his hand and leaned into the slow circles she was still making on his back. She had just told him something he had only dreamed of when he was a teenager. She had just told him that she wanted someone to love and that he was the one she wanted it with. His breath was but a whisper when he looked deep into her eyes, "There's nothing I want more than to be one, I've always loved you Buffy."

**  
Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth trying for  
I can't help it, there's nothing I want more  
Yea, I'd fight for you, I'd lie for you  
Walk the wire for you, yeah I'd die for you  
**

Buffy moved her face within inches of Xander's. Her heart was racing as she was about to venture into uncharted territories. She reached her free hand up to his face and lightly traced her fingers over his eyepatch. She had shied away from looking at his horrible wound since it happened, she still felt responsible for up. She looked into is chocolate colored eye, "You know I will always fight for you..."

Xander encompassed her tiny hand with his, "I've lied for you..."

Buffy moved closer to where she could feel the brush of his lips ever so slightly against her. "I'd walk the wire for you."

With one last breath, their eyes held each others gaze as they both said, "I'd die for you..."

And their lips joined together for what would be the first of many kisses to come, as the last words of the song filtered through the room.

**  
Ya know it's true  
Everything I do  
Ooohhh  
I do it for you  
**

Epilogue

Dawn slipped back into the house about 4 hours later. She wasn't sure what to expect but she hoped it would be good. She looked around and saw that everything appeared as it had when she had left. She saw that Buffy's door was still slightly cracked open and decided to see if either her or Xander were still home. As she peeked through the door, the site she was met with would make her happy for the rest of her days. A fully clothed Buffy was cuddled up like a little child with Xander's arms wrapped firmly around her and both were sleeping with smiles planted on their faces. Wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, Dawn retreated to her room and pulled out a paper from her nightstand drawer. "Should have figured...," she mumbled. Then she preceded to call Willow in South America to let the witch know that she had won the betting pool. Giles was going to be miffed when he found out he missed it by a day.

The End


End file.
